Services
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What I Do -
Fee -
Kinds of Critiques -
What Your Critique Will Look Like -
How to Submit -
Submission Format -
Notice of Receipt -
The Critique Process -
Dialogue Bonus
What I Do
There is no one word for what I do, though I use the term “critique” most often. Sometimes I critique, sometimes I story doctor, sometimes I’ll just give you a general opinion, but above all, I teach. It all depends on what you need. I have done novels, children’s and YA stories, articles, poetry, and websites. I will critique any word length you send me, but I will only read the first 60 pages of a novel otherwise the response times suffer. You are welcome to then submit the next 60 pages and so on, having each section wait their turn in the queue. I am strongest in Speculative Fiction, but I'm willing to give anything a try. I can always read for continuity, understanding, clarity, progression, interest, grammar, punctuation, word choice, etc. But I will not always be able to comment on your content, inspiration, or originality if you submit something outside my familiar genres.
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Fee
I do not expect a fee at this time for my services. Perhaps in the future The Zen Pen will go commercial, but right now I just don't have enough time. Until then, I ask only for your gratitude and advertising. If you think I did a good job, please recommend me to others. If you feel I was integral to a sale, please let me know. If you have a website, give me a link. I will be more than happy to return the favor. I am currently investigating a method that both authors who submit to The Zen Pen, and I, can gain income and recognition, but I’m still working out the details. I will let you know more as it is decided.
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Kinds of Critiques
There are many different ways to doctor a story. Over the years I have organized and defined what I think are the major different kinds of critiques that exist. ALL of the following methods are employed:
Micro – A Micro critique, otherwise known as a line-by-line, approaches your story with a magnifying glass. Grammar, punctuation, proofreading, word choice, and copyediting, are all taken into account. I will literally put comments IN your story, generally in red and in a different font, so it’s easy to find. I may also highlight things allowing you to judge for yourself what the best changes are. Comments can range from misspellings to personal reactions.
Mezzo – This is a term I made up. As far as I know, there is no universal term known as a mezzo critique. I termed it because I felt there was a lot of middle-of-the-road information that wasn’t quite in the same category as a micro critique, or a macro critique, which you’ll read about shortly. A mezzo critique looks at your story with a camera. You can take pictures of sections, you can change the focus, and you can take a few steps back if you need to. A mezzo critique focuses on grammar, punctuation, proofreading, word choice, and copyediting that refer to the entire story. In addition, a mezzo critique will comment on story progression, flow, fluidity, transitions, character development, realism, the human element, and exposition. For example, the word “that” may be used too many times throughout your story, a particular character’s POV might always be off, or you might consistently spell a certain word wrong. You might always start your flashbacks with the phrase, “I remember when,” or the accent or inflection you chose for a character’s speech might not work. In general, this I where I feel most of the useful information resides. Some of that which makes up a mezzo critique can be placed in the micro category and some can be placed in the macro category. I won’t call attention to what particular kind of critique I am giving you at the moment, I just want you to know that this level of critique is a part of my services. I also want you to know that I don’t just see the two major accepted forms of critique – I believe in reading between the lines too.
Macro – A Macro critique views your story from a satellite. It addresses such elements as how your story fits into the general market. How does it fit into the genre you prefer? Is it an unoriginal telling of an old idea? Does the plot too closely resemble an archetype or cliché? Is the story marketable to this genre’s audience? Does the author’s writing style reflect the mood, tone, atmosphere, and sequence of events in the piece? Is the story interesting? Some people prefer to have a macro critique, as opposed to all of the little details. They just want to know if they have a good general idea – a good frame – and if they should continue, or just scrap it. Again, I would be more than pleased to give you such, just make sure you specify that you only want a macro critique when you submit.
Editorial – An editorial critique is a critique from the perspective of a slush editor. For those who are new to the rough world of publication, a slush editor is the first person you have to bypass before your work is seriously considered at most magazines, ezines, etc. I assumed such a position for years and can give you the coveted perspective of what a slush editor – the first obstacle – thinks of your work. In reality, a slush editor doesn’t read much of what you submit to them at all. They might not care about the details in your cover letter, they will probably just gloss over all of the associations you are a member of, and may dismiss your past publications. A slush editor will skip all of the extraneous information, go right to your story, read the first paragraph, and then make a decision. They’re reading in a pass/fail capacity for marketability. That’s it. They are scanning to see if what they’re reading will make them money. Having done exactly this for 4 years, this is by far the easiest method of critique I can provide for you, and I can do it by reading little more than your opening paragraph. I will tell you how your opening is viewed by a professional editor. I will tell you at what point I would have stopped reading, thrown your story away, and sent you a form rejection. This is harsh but invaluable for those who are seriously pursuing publication. There are great stories out there that simply have slow starts, a ton of exposition in the beginning, or an overwhelming scene. Telling an editor, “wait, it gets better,” isn’t acceptable. They need to be interested in paragraph number 1. They’re not going to want to read tons of italics because your character is remembering something, and they’re not going to want to read a poem by Keats because you believe it has relevance to your tale. I can tell you if your story has the allure which will keep editors interested in your writing. A story can be micro, mezzo, and macro polished until I need sunglasses to read it, and the opening still might not be what is necessary to snag an editor. After your name is well established with prestige, it’s easier to get creative with introductions. Your name alone will get you through the door. But in the beginning, a slow-to-grab opening will sink you every time. 95% of the stories I read for Realms of Fantasy were never read beyond the first page. Authors need to know that this is common practice and what they can do to avoid getting mired in the slush.
Comparative – Sometimes it’s difficult to uncover the issues an author is having with a story because that story simply isn’t a good example of the author’s average work. The story that you submitted to me may have been a one-hit-wonder where everything fell into place and I had little to comment on. Another story you may have submitted to me was something you wrote when you got up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. The point is, one work isn’t always enough to figure out what’s wrong. You may write a story about a sock’s journey to find its partner that was lost in the dryer, and create an absolute hit. Yet your attempts to write the battle of the century are always rebuffed. Are you having problems writing battles well? Are you best at personifying objects rather than applying realism to human characters? Is your comedy better than your drama? Does your dialogue tend to have a YA feel to it and so your lieutenant always sounded a little cliché? We would never have been able to discover these potential problems had you not shown me a different side to your writing. This is imperative for those having problems with repeat publication. Many authors fight so hard to be published, finally do so, and then spend years trying to do it again and always falling short. If you wish, I can help you explore what made that published story so irresistible and most importantly, how to do it again.
Reader – This is the latest type of critique that I have added to my arsenal, upon request. It is true that I am a speculative fiction critic, but first and foremost I’m just a fan. I grew up reading the same material you did, and developed my own personal opinions of what I like. I can look at a story and tell you, logically, why it’s absolutely wonderful and sure to sell well. But personally, I might have hated it because I found it offensive in some way. Or I might read a story that makes me personally uncomfortable, but know that the market is hungry for it. My perspective is just as important because I also represent a demographic of your audience. Since I’m already reading your story, why not find out what a Star Trek fan thinks? Or an opera singer? A rock climber? We all have opinions, and I can offer you the well-phrased opinion of just another spec-fic fan. Wouldn’t you like to know if your story is worth the $ it’s going to cost me to buy the glossy magazine?
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What Your Critique Will Look Like
I have created two different templates for critting stories. One is for short stories, and the other is for novels. They are very similar, so I'll just show you the template for short stories:
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>>insert name here<<, Thank you for submitting to The Zen Pen! Here is the critique you requested for >>insert story title here<<. In this email are notes I've made just by reading the title, while reading the story, and after reading the story. Before each comment is the page number I was up to when the comment struck me. These notes include my reactions, language correction suggestions, how to improve the writing overall, and general comments about the construction of the piece. In addition, I will also address any specific requests you made in the email accompanying your manuscript. For detailed information about the different kinds of critique I offer, refer to the SERVICES section of my website at www.thezenpen.com. Attached to this email is a copy of your story imbedded with line-by-line comments written in red in Monotype Corsiva. If you do not see any comments, or your story is not attached, it is simply because your story did not warrant a line-by-line critique. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here is a snippet from the initial email you sent me to remind you not only what you said, but that I indeed kept the following in mind while I was reading your story: >>insert email snippet here<< TITLE IMPRESSION - COMMENTS MADE WHILE READING THE STORY - COMMENTS MADE RIGHT AFTER READING THE STORY - COMMENTS ABOUT STORY CONSTRUCTION - PACE - CHARACTERS - SETTING - PLOT - TITLE - I think that there are three ingredients to every good title:
>>insert details here<< OVERALL IMPRESSIONS - YOUR WORLD - EDITOR CRITIQUE - You may not know this, but most slush editors only read the first sentence or first few paragraphs of a story to decide its fate. They know they need a story that is going to grab their readers quickly. >>insert details here<< READER CRITIQUE - I may be an editor, but I'm also just your average fan of science fiction and fantasy. I have my favorite stories and authors, just like you do, so I'm going to tell you what I think of this story from my perspective as an average fan of the genre. >>insert details here<< MACRO ~ This is the part of the critique where I tell you what this story's "shot" is in the market. There are many different ways to assess "how good" a story is. The method I've found most effective is using a points system. 100 is the maximum number of points and they are achieved in three parts. The first is 75 points for good writing and telling. The second is 15 points for the story itself. The third is 10 points for luck, researching publication personalities, and being at the right place and the right time. There's only so much you can do about the last section, but the first two are fully under your control. ~ >>insert writing/telling grade here<< ~ >>insert story idea grade here<< ~ Assuming you do your research, find the perfect personality market for this piece, and luck is with you, that gives you a highest possible score of ??/100. I always suggest to authors that they shoot for the high 90's before being comfortable submitting a story, expecting a sale. GENERAL SUGGESTIONS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This concludes my critique of your story. I hope that the above helped rather than harmed. If you would like to discuss any of these comments, please do not hesitate to contact me. I will always be available to discuss any of these points at length for as long as you need clarification, encouragement, or new ideas. For most people, the greatest learning experiences occur after the critique. This is only the beginning, so please contact me if you'd like to bounce around any ideas. I'm at your service. Good luck in all of your future literary endeavors. Carina The Zen Pen |
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How to Submit
There are two ways to submit to The Zen Pen: Electronically via email, or by snail mail.
Submissions can be sent to either:
or
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Submission Format
Email submissions should be sent as an attachment in rich text format. This means that your file should end in “.rtf.” If it does not, and you don’t know how to change it, you should copy and paste your submission into the body of your email. I will then make an attachment for you.
Snail mail submissions should be sent in an envelope large enough to accommodate the manuscript. Cramming your manuscript into a small #10 envelope will most likely result in it opening on the way to me and never getting here. It can also crease your wording to the point that entire lines are rubbed out due to moisture, friction, etc. Flat is best. In addition, a SASE (self addressed stamped envelope) must be sent as well, so I can mail you your critique. I can email your critique as well. If that is your preference, please remember to supply me with your email address. If you would like a snail mail critique, supply the appropriate sized SASE. For example, if you want a line-by-line critique, you need to give me a SASE large enough for me to write on your manuscript and return it to you. If you do not want me to write on your manuscript, a smaller #10 sized envelope would do just fine, as I’ll type or write my responses on a separate sheet.
Submissions, via any method, should be double spaced, 12pt. font, Times New Roman, with 1 inch margins. This is simply the easiest way to read without tiring my eyes. Please also include such information on the first page of your manuscript as your name, pen name, address, phone number, email address, word count, and the title of your submission.
If I do not receive an email submission according to the format I’ve detailed above, I will change it and return it to you in the correct format. If I receive a snail mail submission in a state that I find impossible to work with or read, I will ask you to resubmit.
Along with your submission, either by email or cover letter, please let me know anything specific you would like me to address. Would you like the works or something quick? Is there a certain character you want me to supervise or a plot point you’re having trouble working in? Are you having trouble ending the piece? Do you have a renegade flashback that seems to always end up in the wrong place? The more you tell me what you want, about yourself, about your writing history, what you’re afraid of, what you’re hoping for, and you’re ability to take criticism is going to improve my capacity to help you. I am always honest. One individual will take my honesty as brutality, while another will consider it docile in comparison to other critiques they have received. I never want my critique to offend, discourage, or misinterpret what an author wanted. If you don’t tell me that you’re terrified of criticism though, I can’t do my best to diplomatically tailor my word choices. Always remember, more than anything else you remember from reading this page, I want to help you.
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Notice of Receipt
After your submission arrives, I will email you that the story arrived safe and sound. I will then provide you with a queue # so you have an idea as to what the response time is going to be. At any time, you can check in the Blog section of my site to see what stories I am currently working on. If you snail mailed your sub, and do not have access to an email account, provide me with a postage paid postcard so that I can tell you that your story arrived safely and what your queue # is. I do not make personal phone calls to inform people about the status of their submission.
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The Critique Process
Once I decide I'm going to critique, I check my email to see if any new stories arrived. New stories are queued and authors responded to. Then I pull the next story in line and begin critiquing it. I provide a line-by-line critique in red font woven into the body of your submission. If you send a snail mail submission, and do not wish for me to write on it, simply say so and I will be happy to write or type on a separate piece of paper. While reading your story and jotting down line notes, I also write general notes on a separate sheet. Sometimes these are reactionary. These are mostly mezzo or macro, or further expand on a repeating micro issue. Since the general notes are written as particular thoughts strike me, they match the progression of the story instead of reading like a critique essay that I organized. I want to give you my instant thoughts, as well as notes I think of later on. After the story is completed I make macro notes, and clarify all of the other notes I made. I try and draw parallels to my experience, other stories I’ve read, and influences I’ve had in my life. I will tell you if and when I lost interest, what the marketability of the piece is, if I personally liked it, and what personality the piece has if you’re looking for a publication match. I will answer direct questions that you presented to me in your email and address any concerns, fears, or ideas. I will offer ideas of my own which you are more than welcome to take with a grain of salt. I will be honest, humorous, serious, concerned, encouraging, helpful, and eager all in the same critique.
My critiques tend to be over 2 pages in length, with the limit dependent on the size of the manuscript I’m critiquing. If you receive a critique from me that is only 1 page in length, do not be discouraged. These shorter critiques are usually presented to those who I think have little to work on for that particular piece.
I then try to leave your manuscript for a while and do something else entirely. My thoughts will often revisit the piece I last worked on spilling out new ideas, new comments, or new perspectives that I didn’t immediately see. Once I’ve spent enough time and have drained out every comment I can, I attach the critiqued manuscript and paste the general notes in the body of the email. If you sent a snail mail submission, your manuscript will have writing all over it and a separate sheet listing general notes. If you did not wish for me to write on your manuscript, and told me so, all information will be on a separate sheet of paper.
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Dialogue Bonus
It’s been my experience that critiquing a story and shipping it off is hardly the end of the learning process. By having read and critiqued your story, I’m now familiar with it. I’ve probably generated a multitude of questions that can leave you even more confused than when you started. Why then would you want to stop the exchange there? My services do not end after I hit send. Talk to me. Tell me what you thought of my critique. Ask me any questions about my comments or for clarification as to why I laughed after the second paragraph on page 5. Tell me if I referenced something you’re not familiar with or tell me if I got something totally wrong! The greatest discoveries my authors have made during the critique process has been during the dialogue bonus. Light bulbs started going off after they received that personal touch and a hand-held explanation. I encourage you to continue discussion with me regarding your story for as long as you are working on that story. This is a very generous service that I have not seen any other critique professionals offer. It is up to you to not abuse it. Please only speak to me about a story that you submitted to The Zen Pen. Don’t try to get a fast critique on another story by inserting sections of it during our dialogue. You cannot bypass the queue. Do not insert rewrites of the story you are working on into our dialogue. If you would like another critique, I would be more than happy to look at the same story again, but you have to wait in line like everybody else. If you have questions about my critique, general comments, the top ten mistakes authors make or what I thought about the last Star Wars movie, fine. But don’t ask me to re-read your story “real quick” and tell you if it works better. I don’t have time and it’s an abuse of this offer. Keeping this service is VERY important to me as I think it’s integral to really digging deep and finding out what you need to do to make yourself the best writer you can be, and to make this story get where you want it to go. Please help me keep it available for everybody.
If there is something I can do for you that was not detailed above, please don’t hesitate to email me. I may be willing, and able, to give you just what you need.
